Ok, so Chelsea asked me to update... so here I am... FOUR DAYS UNTIL SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha!!!! That makes me so happy you don't understand... I need the break like no other... lol...

Life is good. My grandma's in town again from the middle countries... and in four days I will be able to watch Law and Order all day without worrying about school!!! shweet!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol... I really don't have much to say, but here's my update... just for you, Chelsea... lol!

love,

me

It is, to the day, exactly two weeks until my birthday... so why do I feel like complete and utter crap???

Alright, to everyone who I was in a bad mood with today, I'm sorry. If you actually noticed and cared, I'm sorry. If you didn't, no worries, I didn't expect it... I've learned that for many people I know friendship is a convenience... if it's inconvenient then they suddenly stop being people's friends... It's like magic really, how so many of my friends have just suddenly stopped appearing... now I'm asking, as an early birthday present, for a little bit of honesty. I would rather know someone doesn't want to be my friend than wonder why they do nothing show their friendship... I'm sorry I can't do the IB programme, finish my Gold Award, work for NHS, fence, start the RHS fencing club, and still be around all the time - I am human. For God's sake, stop pretending. If you want to be my friend, help me a little, sometimes even the best of people need it. If you don't want to be my friend, tell me so I can save a little bit of my energy for someone else who needs it.

anyone lived in a pretty how town

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did

Women and men(both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed(but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone's any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hope and then)they
said their nevers they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes.

Women and men(both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

~ e.e. cummings

I adore that poem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

I hate my life.

Well, as of right now at least.

Why??? Let us list the reasons...

- I have no friends... well, I supposedly do, but none of them ever answer their phones, or they're uber busy when I call and never call back, or I'm just a horrible friend and none of them like me and are too nice to say it to my face...

- I am the worst person in the world... or so my mom says... I'm ungrateful, I have a nasty attitude, I'm disrespectful, apparently I'm the one who looses my temper (yeah right!), and I'm just the all around worst daughter alive...

- I have nothing to do with my life... I don't know what I want to do... I don't have a job so I can do something productive with my time... I'm not a good fencer... I'm not a good student... I'm really not that smart... I'm not a good daughter... I'm not a good friend... I'm not a good person to be around...

Honestly! God, I may as well jump off a cliff right now... not that anyone would notice...

Currently Reading Emma By Jane Austen see related

From Rachel's xanga... because I seem to be doing a lot of this lately...

NINE ways to win my <3
- earn my respect
- keep your promises
- fulfill your potential
- be my friend
- be able to listen
- make me laugh
- be unafraid to be yourself around me
- be happy and willing to make others happy
- be yourself

EIGHT things i want to do before i DIE
- fly a plane
- travel the world
- get my vision fixed so that I can...
- go to the moon, and the stars
- write a book
- find someone who can match wits with me in every area
- help a friend do something they could not have done otherwise
- be truly, completely, and unutterably happy

SEVEN things that annoy me
- people degrading themselves
- lying
- bad language
- overly emotional people
- close-minded people
- people who claim beliefs without being able to support them
- blind belief

SIX things i believe in
- life
- myself
- the future
- space and science
- truth
- justice

FIVE things i'm afraid of
- being trapped, cages
- being unable to protect the people I love
- being unable to act of my own free will
- people touching me without my consent (it terrifies me when people do that!!!)
- learning I have been lied to

FOUR of my favorite things
- reading and writing
- learning (includes science, school, travelling, etc...)
- fencing
- being with my friends and family

THREE things i do everyday
- go to school
- think
- laugh

TWO things i want to do right now
- go look at the stars
- get in shape

ONE person you want to see right now
- someone who can challenge me, amuse me, respect me, and earn my respect (if I ever find a person like that in the opposite gender, I will marry him!!!)

Life is good... laughter is better...

me